this is blog is keep track of our summer film.
it will be incredible.
I see that you decided to cut the scene with the boy and his Dad in front of the mirror all together. Since he's finishing up getting dressed in that shot, I'm not sure that I would have cut it.Two other comments. I'm the one who asked for the camera move in the high angle shot of the kid in bed. I think that you need to continue the camera move into the next shot and come to a stop there.Also, you lost the girl at the end when the camera pulls back from the elevator. I think that it's necessary to show their spatial relationship before you go into the close-ups.Looking good, though. You've cut out almost a minute and a half and the film is definitely stronger for it. I can see maybe putting back 3-5 seconds due to the above suggestions, but it's still nice and lean and moves at a good clip.
ok i changed the leicareel
im loving this comment!
Great changes and adjustments to the leica reel Mark!! I really like how the flow and clarity of storytelling/shots are even more now =)
One last thought and you don't have to change it at the leica stage. That camera move in the beginning that's over two shots needs to be more continuous in terms of direction and speed. You also need to slow out on the move in the second shot. Worry about it when you get to the animation.
YES! We can move forward!!!!
The leica reel is communicating very clearly at this point. My suggestion is that you guys put all your efforts into getting as much done in rough animation before the end of summer. Resist the temptation to take any scenes to finished line and colour too soon. I think that this film, once it features rough, expressive character animation with personality, is going to be an excellent demo reel to show what you guys are capable of.On a side note, I have a suggestion regarding the background layouts. From the two examples in your latest post, I feel that the backgrounds are getting a bit sterile in their linework. Take another look at the opening scenes in your leica reel that I believe were drawn by Ken. There is a nice feel to these, as the linework manages to show the volume of everything in an expressive, spontaneous way. I think you may be fussing with the lines too much in the two background samples you've drawn up thus far, as they come across a bit flat. While I can see that you're trying for a slightly skewed cartoony perspective in the kitchen scene, there just isn't the energy or natural thick and thin line weight that had worked so well in those opening leica scenes. Try drawing one out quickly with a 2B (or softer) pencil as an experiment. Again, use those scenes Ken drew as a good example of what I'm suggesting.
Hi guysMr. Mayerson sent me this link to show your stuff and I think you've got a great idea and pretty well executed.Because I'm not up to reading through all the back and forth thus far, I'll limit my suggestions to the lecia as I see it.I think the scenes in the apartment are a little tight. If you widen the shots to give more room,-to read the kid running in the hall, grabbing the glass, flowers, etc.- I think you can sell tightness in the elevator better. This can help the kid's squirming in the elevator play better.(This means losing the high camera move to explain the space better.)I got a little lost in the scene transitions from day to day. I think it is a nice device to use the elevator doors as a wipe to underline this transition. This also means each episode should end with the girl turning her back to the kid.(Then the door wipe) Show a progression of her expression- increasing intrigue- to his-increasing frustration or sadness. This makes the triumph of her turn to take the flowers better for him.It can also bookend the piece clearer. The only time we see from the inside of the elevator is the end shot and closing with the doors closing.Only thoughts that you may have already rejected. Consider them if you want. I wish you well. I'll look in from time to time. Good LuckJim Caswell
Hey guys nice work, I think Jim makes a good point, the beginning scene to me was too cramped, and the contrast would be good for the elevator. Other then that, possibly when he falls trying to catch the girl, the elevator door could close on him, he also could just trip, its strange that his shoes are tied together. You still have time to get a good amount of rough animation done, good luck and see you all soon back at school.
thx for the suggestions, we will revise them as a group, i also agree that it is time to animate.
You guys have been busy! Lookin' great. Can't wait to see some cleaned up stuff. Hope your summers are all goin well, cuz they're about to end! ;)
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